Toys – memetically sculpting the hearts and minds of children since time immemorial

Have you seen this?

Let’s get a picture for this nonsense, shall we?

About as charming as a yeast infection.

About as charming as a yeast infection.

Of COURSE the person going through the checkpoint is a woman. Of COURSE she’s wearing some faux stripey french Marxist blouse thing.
Read the comments. Seriously. Though I would suggest having something alchoholic or consciousness affecting handy – by the third comment or so I think that the nicest thing that came to mind was how much better it would feel to slam my fingers in a piano lid.

But wait, it’s not alone!!!!!!
How about the Playmobil police checkpoint? (Don’t worry, the commentary on this one is full of good quality snark.)
Their largest line, judging by Amazon anyway, would appear to be police state toys. There’s a radar patrol, a SWAT helicopter (inexplicably to me, this comes with a jet ski’er. Um…what?) A police car, two kinds of police van (which one is the foresic van?) ….. and then there’s the policeman and crook blister pack. Auhm. Yeah.

So I hit the Playmobil website and found these tasty little gems –
-the Playmobil vending machine – yes your child too can feel the ferocious fucking fun of pretending to plunk coin after coin into this banana yellow monstrosity to get out salty, sugary death food.
Oh but don’t worry, they’re (separate but) equal opportunity toy manufacturers. First there’s the asian, the mediteranian/hispanic, and the african american family sets. There’s also a caucasian family set. Now, this being me, this inspired me to look at the rest of their sets in some detail.
The only places I could see what looked like persons of color were in two categories – the explorer set (and now the link isn’t working for some reason) … and what appears to be a medic in their Soccer set.
WTF? (This is a sore point of mine. Keep in mind that when my daughter begged and pleaded for a Barbie and I finally caved, I made a point of getting her one that wasn’t white. I think the doll was supposed to be african-american but she looked more Indian to me – which is odd because they’re all the same mold just different colours. Anyway, tangency diverted…)

I should note at this point that the item that brought me here isn’t featured on their website. Surprising, no?
Then there’s the Playmobil Bus Stop – which bothers me on some level I can’t quite articulate. (The bus stop features three women, a child, and a single man)
And lest you think they’re Republican idealogues, they’ve also got the Ivory Tower latte swilling liberal set – okay, it’s a cafe with no political angle. I’m on a roll, sue me.

So yeah. All of these are real – I’ve checked. I expect within a few hours of this post, Playmobil will leave me a nice, ‘polite’ email in my inbox suggesting I’ve crossed a line here. In the meantime, I need a bloody shower after that.
And hey, on a wholly related note homeland security secretary confirmations begin today.

Good Hussle.

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~ by Auntie Ranty on January 15, 2009.

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