Hearts and Minds

Our title comes from something LBJ said* – namely “the ultimate victory will depend on the hearts and minds of the people who actually live out there”. Of course he was referring to Vietnam, but I think it’s highly, HIGHLY appropriate to today’s election.

“Early Voting Turnout could Skew Election Returns” which is bad because not feeding your ADD ass is undemocratic
*sigh* That is, however, apparently, all the game they’ve got.

Gee, shucks.

Actually, they’re also trying this bone – which also pretty much reads Don’t Bother, it’ll suck. It’ll be inconvenient and slow, two things that are anathema to any American. (I hear voting also requires you to FUCKING READ but that could just be a rumor. I had the ghost of Che Guevara** read the voting form to me thanks but I understand that not everyone is so…..blessed.)

I think that it’s a triple blessing today, not having cable or otherwise the thing called television – if we possessed such a science fictional widget, I’d be glued to the ceiling right now, sucking on the fumes of raw politics.
As opposed to this, which is – to stretch an already threadbare analogy – a few ounces and a six of shitty American beer.

Geezus, must EVERY media outlet bitch and moan about the long lines? Fuck – long lines? Nothing makes me bloody happier. I welcome these long lines as would a binging coke addict.

FDR-Kennedy*** is going to clean up today. I’m hoping the secret service is staying frosty – because President Biden brings the slightest tinge of vomit to the back of my throat. Seriously – maybe more so than the idea of President McNugget. At least, with him, I’d know what to expect. More of the same – with a thin patina of “I’m a guy who will one day do a formal interview in a sweaty beater with chest hair sticking out” dolloped on top of that Four More Years shit sundae.
And President Palin? Please, do stay away from the blotter today. PLEASE.

Anyway, time for coffee.

Hearts and Minds
Go ahead and start scraping the resin, I’ll wait.

* Of course, this is the same guy who said “Don’t worry son. It’s my prerogative.” while pissing on the leg of the secret service agent being addressed. YMMV.

** Speaking of, did you know someone auctioned off his HAIR last year. Creepy. Also kind of disgusting.

*** also known as The One, and The Messiah, but not – so far as I know – known as Neo. Thankfully. Blessedly I will now suspend my urge to go into a diatribe about white voters, “liberal guilt” and the role of Morpheus as Magical Negro**** – I think we’ll all be happier this way.

**** Though if I may editorialize, I should say that it’s always been my contention that Morpheus, while fitting practically every single aspect of that particular bit of pigeonholing, rises above the material and is an excellent study in faith. Seriously, if you watch the matrix films from the standpoint of Morpheus on a journey as, essentially, a biblical prophet, it’s pretty interesting. Anyway, digression concluded.

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~ by Auntie Ranty on November 4, 2008.

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