A rather vulgar but sincere letter to the US Republican Party

The GOP – the future is there for you if you look up from your dick to see it
Inspired in large part by a conversation I had with a family member, via the net, this past weekend.
Right now, the GOP is at a cross roads. And like in the old stories (which aren’t of course true but they resonate in the psyche for various reasons) the devil is waiting for them. To lead into destruction or to teach a valuable lesson?
We’ll see which.
Right now, supposedly, the Republican Party is allegedly for smaller government, a conservative fiscal policy, and…
er, hey wait a minute. We’ve already hit a few land mines, haven’t we?
Right now, there isn’t a party that is actually advocating smaller government (and certainly not less intrusive – and No, Not Obama) and a conservative economic policy.

The GOP has been propagating the notion that they are conservatives when, in fact, they are not. Not since sometime prior to the Nixon administration has any GOP President or body of congressmen actually been for either of those things. That’s DECADES folks. Nixon finished the execution that FDR started, namely removing any actual solid standard by which our money was backed up with something tangible. Dumb. Triple dumb. (Yes, FDR, you know, the DEMOCRAT?) Since I’ve been alive and watching (say 1984) the Republican Party has meant the following to me
defense spending. Excessively. No matter what. Ideally without congressional oversight.
Multi trillion dollar deficit. It took a democrat to balance the bloody budget. Wankers. Regan, Bush, Bush – each racked up, on their watch, at least a trillion dollars. EACH. WTF? Yes, spending imaginary money that doesn’t exist is Perfectly Conservative, so long as it goes to missiles and shit, right?
The fight against communism*koff*terrorism. And supporting Israel. No matter what.
Being fucking married to -Socially- conservative right wing Fundamentalist Christian groups. Who are assholes, let’s just be honest here, mmkay? For money’s sake, I guess. But really, married. As in Ball and Fucking Chain.
By this point, the Godjobs pretty much dictate party policy. Why the fuck is that? I mean for shitssake, the VP nominee this year actually doesn’t think a sniper or bomber is a terrorist if they’re doing it to anyone in say fifty feet of a place that has any kind of family planning angle. (Of course, terrorism has always been a straw man for the US. We’ve been toppling other people’s countries, secretly, since the 50s. We find the dissatisfied, we train them, arm them, and pay for them. They topple the government, and become just as bad as those they overthrew, but Hey they’re In Our Back Pocket so it’s okay.)

Today, I think the GOP is finally going to get the good assfucking that it so desperately deserves. Maybe, just maybe, this could serve as a wake up call. Jettison the social fundie living in Victorian America nutjobs, flush the tired old men that aren’t doing you any favors and try a return to actual, genuine conservatism. Really.

A few questions.
1.Why does the GOP get so up in arms on the notion of “activist judges”? Is it a control thing? Moreover, do they really think that Chief Justices have just been magically agenda free since 1792? Seriously, since the 70s the GOP has done everything it possibly can to limit the powers of the judicial branch at the local and state level. Hmmmm…..but yet they’re “totally for state’s rights!” Hooey.
2.You guys are still using trickle down economics. Um….huh? (Oh wait, you’re still using it because people Still Buy That Line of Bullshit. Forget I asked.) By the way, please google “economic liberalism.” I’ll wait.
I saw you blush.
3.Environmental policy. What? You said what? STFU and let the scientists work that out, mmkay? Think tanks = bad.
4.Social Policies. Flush. No questions here. Just head scratching. A lot of head scratching.
5.Defense Spending. Please. Really. For the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, can we pay our troops more, please? Because that’s more important than another wing of transforming stealth fighter/attack bomber/fusion/neutron/something patriotic/push-button-make-dead things that probably won’t work anyway.
6.Foreign Policy. Where DO you get the notion that if we force the rest of the world to be ‘democratic’ (i.e. like us) that this will benefit us? How will this reduce conflict? How will this benefit us economically? Prove that this is morally and ethically the proper course of action. With facts please. Like in a real debate. Not a political one.
Really, dude, right now you are THE Old Fat Christian-in-name White Male party. This makes you the devil. Oh, and all that stupid crap you do.
Ditch the above, and you’ll have me.
I’m waiting.

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~ by Auntie Ranty on November 4, 2008.

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